Remembering Mom's Death

Has it already been eight years ago that Mom died so suddenly?  I like to begin my day in prayer often using the reflections in Living Faith.  The date and title grabbed my attention, "Forgiveness Heals."  The author suggested that the human heart can easily over burden itself with resentments.  "Forgiveness means letting go of the weight of resentment and making room for the lighter gift of grace, God's life within us."  I don't think Mom burdened herself with resentments - at least I never heard her talk about them.  She made room for the lighter gift of grace throughout her life, especially with Johnny Hoene and others she cared for.  I know she resented his alcohol dependency, but it did not stop her from reaching out and helping him.  Joan taught me the gift of forgiveness when she quickly wrote a note to Mr. Morgan telling him we knew Mom's death was an accident and the Kopczynski's forgave him.  I just re-read his little note in Tribune and how powerful the gift of forgiveness can be.

 I'd hoped to spend the day writing an 800 word essay for our local library's "Everybody Writes" contest.  I had no illusions of winning the contest, but thought I could surely find something in Mom's death that would fit the "Integrity" criteria.  I sat down to write and put about 300 words on the page and they were just words that didn't make much sense.  I discovered a needed to find a narrower focus and the ideas just wouldn't come.  

Finally I decided I'd do a few things that Mom would've done on a free day.  So I began by making chicken soup!  I cleaned all the jars of soup broth out of my freezer.  I make the broth out of the bones of Costco chickens, letting it simmer for four or five hours----yummy!

Home made chicken soup with long grain & wild rice!

 Next I watered all my indoor plants.  Peggy Reed Dorf gave me this African violet after she propagated it from the parent plant she rescued from the garbage heap in Mom's garage.  See, it's ready to bloom just in time to remind me of my Mother.  Bev Kernan Ferguson told me recently that she has one too and thinks of Mom every time she waters it.  

The out doors beckoned me - the sun warm and temperature in the 50's!  I cleaned out one of the front flower beds and raked the remaining leaves from Dad's dogwood tree.

I sat with Mr. Scarecrow for awhile and asked Mom to get busy on all our family prayer requests!

Mr. Scarecrow and I  share a warm moment together!

But then I heard mom tell me to get busy because the warm weather would not last forever.  I found a way to wash the front windows without getting on a ladder.  

I marveled at the geraniums being stored in my garage and those still blooming by the front door.

After lunch it was tempting to take a nap in the sunshine, but instead I took a long bike ride, appreciating our great weather and the levee system and the gift of my bike!

I'd thought a lot about Larry throughout the day and how we'd muddled through all those phone calls from his office.  I thought about taking some flowers to him, but chose the soup instead.  I thought it would remind him more of our Mom.  

After delivering the soup I read this EMail from our cousin Dolores Kroeger

Hello cousins,

 

Well, I can’t think of my mom on her birthday without remembering yours.  I’m sure as each year rolls around, you relive the chain of events as they happened on November 11, 2005.

It seems so long ago and then it seems like yesterday.  We were celebrating mom’s 81st birthday at her house with all the Hoene cousins and Sister Henriette as she had come home that weekend.

And I had not been home very long before I got Larry’s call.  Unbelievable---- and then on to call all the cousins that had just gathered at mom’s.   Larry couldn’t get an answer from mom or Sister Henriette who was by then enroute back to St. Louis and mom off to another birthday party at Henry’s daughter’s house.  It was such a great day to be together and then total sadness as the news circulated. 

 

Theresa, I remember how you recounted the events of your day in one of your blogs, how you called the police and told them you thought your mom might be lost and then later to get the news about the accident.    And how consoling and accepting of life’s happenings Sister could be – stating that Bertha never would have wanted to be a burden to anyone and this was God’s way of granting her wish.  We won’t get our answers in this life will we. 

 

I totally relived every minute of November 1st, the chain of events, Kathy’s best friend still has the message on her cell phone calling to tell her that, “Chuck is here already and I’m going home today.”  She can’t bring herself to erase it.   How sweet it  was to hear her voice again and at the same time almost unbearable. But she did “go home that day,” on the Feast of All Saints and that is a great consolation.

 

I took mom to “turkey bingo” last night at our parish – neither one of us won a turkey or any of the money specials.  We accused Charlie of calling all the wrong numbers -  a job he will have til he can’t “call” anymore.  There are 200 kids there - it is noisy beyond bearable but that’s the only time kids can play so they really get excited.  This morning I took her out for breakfast at Niemerg’s but had to get home after that to pick up Charlie on a backhoe job so he could do the color guard at a Veteran’s Service.  Always plenty going on. 

 

Just wanted to let you all know I am thinking of you and know that your mom was a very special person. 

 

Blessings to all,

Again, these are the addresses I have in my new computer,never did take the time to enter a bunch that I need to do yet., so feel free to share if you wish.

 

Dolores

Dolores and Charlie on their trip to Idaho in August, 2008!  

I ended the day by attending the "Renew Us Lord" Parish Mission.   The Redemptorist priests, Father Greg and Father Tony were invited to help us let go of the resentments of giving up our beloved churches and making room for the lighter gift of God's grace as we prepare to occupy our new Church.

Father Tony's message last night encouraged us to trust God's mercy!  I prayed for acceptance and letting go of my burdensome judgmental attitude!  

We sang this beautiful Taize prayer during the Mission and I had the overwhelming sense that Jesus did remember my Mom when she entered the kingdom.  This YouTube video reminds me that Jesus offered the gift of forgiveness to all of us.  Everything event and memory throughout the day gave me a sense of Mom's presence with me and the joy that comes from love and acceptance.