One Perfect Word

I recently read Debbie Macomber's book, One Perfect Word,  The book reveals how "the Lord takes us by the hand and walks us through the year, teaching us about that word, about ourselves, and even more, about God Himself."  She choose uplifting, by also difficult words over the years.  The chapter on brokenness touched me deeply as she described the year her husband left her and she faced the failure of her marriage and prospect of raising her children as a single mom.  I admire the way writers like Debbie can be honest and express the deepest joys and sorrows of their heart.  My writing is not filled with that much feeling, so I take what I can from good writers and say to myself, "yes, I feel that way or I believe that, too."  Reading others thoughts and feelings help me address my own.


Here's little video that Debbie explains how she chooses the one perfect word.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOAzZVGVph0

Debbie began her writing career writing romance novels in the 1970's.  Now she writes novels  involving women who knit and books about her own spirituality.  She writes of the power of words and quotes scripture in this book, such as "If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you."  John 15:7.  I don't think I will adopt her practices as she chooses her word for the year, but she inspired me with the effort she put into it.

Handwritten words add a lot of meaning and power to a simple greeting card.  I received the sweetest card from Sheila Kopczynski this week.   It was a surprise that touched my heart!

My first thought was I don't deserve these words, but as I read them again I'm struck by the generosity of this sweet friend who painstakingly copied Bessie's poem and then went on to share other words to describe me.  Plus I noticed she used the word embrace twice.  For some reason reading her words confirmed my choice that I'd chosen the one perfect word for this year.  And, if Sheila thinks I embrace the "joy in just being," I'd better step it up a notch and get out of the funky feeling I always have after the Christmas celebrations. Thank you, Sheila, for the greeting card that brought something extraordinary in to my life.

The flu

I've had a touch of the flu this week!  Been advised by my family and friends to take it easy.  I don't think I've ever slept so much, read so much, watched TV so much, sat so much, as I've done this week.  I've recovered from the flu, but now I'm just plain sick of my own company.  It's both humbling and frustrating to be sick.   There's not much one can do except curl up on the couch, embrace the illness and enjoy the respite.  Not an easy task for me for sure.  I'm still all about "getting things done."  The Christmas decorations more or less glared at me all week to be put snuggly away until next year.  I'm always a little reluctant to put it all away at one time because it looks so bare - kind of like January in general.  But today I discovered a little spot of color in the bareness.  This precious African violet is a baby of the one that cousin Peggy rescued from the throw-away pile when we were cleaning out Mom's house.  The plant had been resting in a dark place during the holidays, but now has a place of prominence in front of a little window in my entry.  The blossom's color brought sunshine into an otherwise gloomy day.

 My Mom's violets live on!

And what says New Year, New Life more than a bouquet of pussy willows?

I'd helped my friend, Cecilia, get her house decorated for our 4th Day celebration.  I enjoyed exploring her cupboards and drawers.  She owns a thousand beautiful candles, I swear.  Anyway, she presented me with this little silver pitcher yesterday and a note that said, "A token of my affection and appreciation for all your help at Christmas time."  It's a gift I'll treasure as much as the friendship of this dear friend.

The card is from Sheila Kopczynski - I received it in the mail yesterday.  I cannot come up with enough words to describe Sheila - generous, kind, compassionate, thoughtful, fun-loving, caring!  It seems like she sent this card out of the blue - how did she know I needed a little lift today?

Today I've turned down the thermostat and opened all my doors and windows hoping to get rid of all the bad germs and let fresh air into my little house!  I'm ready to let the New Year begin!!

Theme for the Year

For several years, my spiritual director, Sister Lillian, OSB, listens as I struggle to find a word that becomes my theme for the year.  I learned about this practice from Paul D'Arcy's daily reflections for Advent and Christmas for January 1st.  Paula writes, "I hadn't wondered what I was doing with the life God gave to me.  I had just lived day to day.  I compared my life to Mary, the Mother of God, who was kneeling before the heart of God.  She was embracing everything that came her way in order walk the only way that mattered.  Consider choosing a theme for this year that helps you do something with the life God gave us."

My themes for years past include gratitude, blessings, surprise, notice.  This year I pondered several words, but one word seemed to catch my attention as the new year marched on.  On the feast of the Epiphany I read about how Joseph Cardinal Bernardin experienced the touch of God.  "It was subtle, always a surprise, an encounter that emptied me beyond anything I could have anticipated.  It is a path that embraces both beauty and terror."  In the crucible of this love, Joseph knelt  and prayed "I will allow something extraordinary to materialize in my life."  Image the power of our hearts intoning the same prayer.  Paula challenges the reader, "Are we willing to embrace this journey?"

It's really challenging to chose one word that becomes a theme for the year.  

Lillian and I discussed the word Embrace - we mulled it over and decided it was a good word!  I knew I'd have a lot to embrace this new year - real retirement, more free time, some quiet days with no interactions with people, perhaps travel.....  In January I take time to reflect on what kind of journey I might be embracing during the new year.  

I looked at all the possibilities by consulting the dictionary:

em·brace

emˈbrās/

verb

verb: embrace; 3rd person present: embraces; past tense: embraced; past participle: embraced; gerund or present participle: embracing

1.             1. 
hold (someone) closely in one's arms, esp. as a sign of affection."Aunt Sophie embraced her warmly"

2.synonyms:

3.hug, take/hold in one's arms, hold, cuddle, clasp to one's bosom, clasp, squeeze, clutch; Morecaress; enfold, enclasp, encircle, envelop, entwine oneself around; informalcanoodle, clinch "he embraced her warmly"

4.             





5.             2. 
accept or support (a belief, theory, or change) willingly and enthusiastically."besides traditional methods, artists are embracing new technology"

6.synonyms:

7.welcome, welcome with open arms, accept, take up, take to one's heart, adopt; Moreespouse, support, back, champion "most states have embraced the concept"

8.             





9.             3. 
include or contain (something) as a constituent part."his career embraces a number of activities—composing, playing, and acting"

10.         synonyms:

11.         include, take in, comprise, contain, incorporate, encompass, cover, involve, embody, subsume, comprehend More"the faculty embraces a wide range of departments"

12.         





noun

noun: embrace; plural noun: embraces

1.             1. 
an act of holding someone closely in one's arms."they were locked in an embrace"

2.synonyms:

3.hug, cuddle, squeeze, clinch, caress, clasp; Morebear hug "a fond embrace"

4.             


▪                                   used to refer to something that is regarded as surrounding, holding, or restricting someone."the transformations brought about by the embrace of mass media"


5.             




2. 
an act of accepting or supporting something willingly or enthusiastically."their eager embrace of foreign influences"

My goal, as the year marches on, is to do some writing as I reflect on my theme of the year.  Stay tuned....

After Christmas Celebration at the Kuhlmanns

The thoughts occurred to me on Christmas Day:  "I don't have to work tomorrow, I have no commitments, I have free time, the driving weather is perfect, I could drive to Spokane."  Those thoughts became new little Christmas packages for me, just waiting to be opened for new experiences.  I'd get to visit with Joan, Marilyn, and Don - more Kopczynski time!

Dan's family tradition is to go bowling the day after Christmas and Marilyn and I went just to watch.  Judy Kuhlmann's parents operated a bowling alley for years and the Kuhlmann boys all bowled on leagues and the next generation spent a lot of time at the bowling alley. Some of those younger kids are great bowlers.  But the best part of that day was being with Carter - Marilyn's grandson.  He's walking and smiles at everyone, including the camera.  Here are some great shots of that little peanut:

Bowling with Dad!

Proud Grandpa Dan

Loving Grandma Marilyn

Doting Uncle Justin

Amazed Aunt Theresa

Carter loves to eat and we listened while he babbled, but decided his new word for the week was "Mine."  Amanda added this word to her list of words he's mastered.  Did he learn the word at Day Care?  He's smart enough to know what it means!

Saying Goodbye to Great Uncle Rick!
Dan and Marilyn appreciated the special time Carter had at Grandma's house!  It took an hour to get their car loaded with all the special gifts.  Hank, the dog, barely fit into his space in the back seat.   We were feeling a little sad after they all left and decided we needed to get involved in a project.  I have a strong desire to start a knitting again and asked Marilyn to find some black yarn for me.  Well, one thing lead to another and we spent hours trying to get her yarn, patterns, needles, and current projects organized.  We drove to Staples for some organizers and Marilyn made her New Year's resolution to get organized.

I found the black yarn and started my first stained glass prayer shawl intending to use up all those skeins of yarn that people had given to me over the years.

It seems a prayerful way to begin 2014

Silent Night

From Mary Katherine Deeley's advent reflections I read, "It never fails that the closer it gets to Christmas, the noisier it gets.  But after the last present is wrapped, the last prayer said, and the last child tucked away, a blessed and holy silence rains down and the world hold its collective breath.  Jesus' birth was long ago, but still there is something special about this silent night that makes us turn in love to family and friends or reach out to a stranger."

I'm kind of holding my breath right now, waiting for the kids and grands to arrive for a Christmas Eve meal before Mass.  My silent home is about to erupt with the sounds of children, a dog or two, and Anne's high school friend, Chris,  and her daughter, Abby, strangers to me.  I'm really used to the silence now and this advent season seems like the silence gave me a longing to share love with others.  Whether it's the spirit of Jesus within me or some little transformation, I could not get enough of the people to whom I took the Eucharist or picked their name off the tree at St. Stan's.  Retirement brought the joy of taking time to be with several elders confined to long term care facilities.  I visited a former Clarkston neighbor and his wife at Royal Plaza.  Joyce has Alzheimer's, but Bob recognized me the moment he opened the door!  Joy, not sadness greeted me!

I tried to set up a radio station on Pandora that would just play Silent Night songs, but it didn't work.  The song always brings tears to my eyes - probably from early childhood memories of singing around the piano at the Kopczynski grandparents home.  Even though Uncle John is gone, I am able to listen to Stille Nacht on YouTube.  What is it about a song that bubbles emotions to the surface?  Memories?  Desire for peace?  Longing for simplicity?  Silence in a noisy world?

*********************************************************************************
We all managed to get to St. Stan's for the Family Mass at 4 PM.  I had nostalgic feelings because next year our Masses will be in our big new church.  I love Christmas at St. Stan's - the church is decorated with lights and red poinsettia's.  But, the church really is too small for a 4 o'clock Family Mass.  We arrived at 3:30 and already there was "no room in the Inn."  The O'Shaughnessy's were a little smarter than the Wessels because they captured seats by arriving at 3, as well as Larry and his whole family - 2nd row!
It was crowded and quite distracting with all the children and people we rarely see at church.  But never mind, God sent His Son to us for that very reason - to be among us, among the noise, the chaos, the sadness, the joy, the clutter, the imperfections, the hugs and the tears.  The Mass ended with my favorite of all songs, Silent Night!  I felt incredible joy even though my eyes were stinging with tears.





My little house felt crowded with 10 people, but we managed to pray a Christmas blessing, offer a toast, welcome strangers, open gifts, and take annual Grandma-Grandkid pictures.  I copied a Table Liturgy prayer from my favorite prayer book, "Prayers for the Domestic Church," by Edward Hays.  Nothing touches me more than to have my family read and share prayers.  Bradleigh read, "As we light our candles, may the eternal light of God sine upon our table and fill our home."  We missed Karen, who had to work all day. Gratefully, I had another celebration with the O'Shaughnessy's opening gifts and sharing Peppermint Ice Cream.

The gifts were a bit unusual this year - Coconut Oil for each family - we continue to search for ways to improve our health.  A strange family picture meant to imply that a professional photographer would be hired to get a really good one of all of us.  Colin's college fund gift that generated this response, "Well thank you, Grandma, that will probably pay for 2 days of college."  Some new shoes, fishing stuff, X-Box games, USB battery charging station, Yoga gear, heavy fireproof safes, pillow cases, and soft blankets for the family pets.

After Mass I enjoyed a walk through Locomotive Park with Anne's friends from Ohio.  I always enjoy the lights, but even more so with friends from out of town.  

 Abby and Chris warming up by the fire

Anne and Chris

This morning boxes and wrapping paper await the journey to the re-cycling bin, but Christmas joy continues as I ready myself for a trip to Moscow to join the kids for Christmas Day.  

Someone sent me this sweet poem by Howard Thurman

I will light Candles this Christmas,

Candles of joy despite all the sadness,

Candles of hope where despair keeps watch,

Candles of courage for fears ever present,

Candles of peace for tempest-tossed days, 

Candles of grace to ease heavy burdens,

Candles of love to inspire all my living,

Candles that will burn all year long.

When the song of the angels is stilled,
When the star in the sky is gone,
When the kings and princes are home,
When the shepherds are back with their flock,
The work of Christmas begins:
To find the lost,
To heal the broken,
To feed the hungry,
To release the prisoner,
To rebuild the nations,
To bring peace among others,
To make music in the heart.

Even though the silent night has come and gone I pray that we continue to reach out in love to our families, friends, and strangers!

Merry Christmas

Snow and Millie's funeral

Duane and I walked out of Holy Family church yesterday, after Millie Funke's funeral, and were surprised to see how much snow had fallen in two hours.  The snow created a little chaos for those of us traveling to the cemetery for the final blessings and burial.  Father Root said the prayers quickly as we huddled under umbrellas and the tent.  Family members didn't linger at all at the cemetery and seemed to eat quickly at the Parish Center.  The looming dread of driving back to Cottonwood and to Oregon hovered as we visited with the Wessels extended family.  The sight of the Sonnen, Hasenoehrl and Arnzen cousins delighted me….. it was quite a testament to their Aunt Millie.  I felt a little sensory overload to see so many and have so little time to visit and catch up with each one.  Many of my Wessels nieces and nephews have their own children now.  Millie had seven great grandchildren and those little ones stole the show.  Meghann Funke, Dale's daughter, got up to the microphone at the end of Mass, and read a beautiful tribute to her grandma.  Ah, the blessings of a large family!!!

I love the rich Advent reflections that sit on my prayer table.   This morning I read Mary Catherine Deeley's thoughts about Isaiah's words, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord."  She mentions that most people lay our their lives in calendars, which gives us the illusion that we are in control.  The story of the Incarnation reminds us that Mary's yes meant yielding to God's plan to bring LOVE into the world.  "God comes in the middle of things that throw our calendars and schedules into chaos.  Birth, death, suffering, and profound joy don't come to us at neatly planned appointments."  Is it possible to set our calendars aside and believe that God can transform us mundane as well as spectacular moments.

Millie's death came smack in the middle of busy Christmas preparations.  Her family made room for the transformation that happens with death….connection with others, celebrating a life well lived.  Nieces and nephews rearranged schedules to be present at the celebration.  Every funeral I attend transforms me in some little way.  Bernard and Millie were married for 65 years - their love and concern for each other made it possible for her to be at home the final months of her life.  The kids stepped up to help out and other community members brought meals, the Eucharist, and other moments of support.

How does one describe the quiet, the whiteness, the softness of snow on a winter morning?  It feels like a great gift, a miracle to me, especially here in Lewiston.  I get my camera out and try to capture the moment and the feelings I have….

Snow and death….. Is there a connection?  

       Quiet

           Soft

               Illuminating

                  Pure

                      Peace-filled

Millie, be the light that guides our way this holy season.  Teach us to set aside our calendars and relish those moments of transformation that come to us through the surprise of snow, the hug of a grandchild, the joy of connecting with extended family

Annual Cookie Baking

It's such a Grandma thing - baking Christmas cookies with the little kids.  I remember my Grandmother spending a whole day at our house while Mom piled her white sugar or ginger cookies on our kitchen table.     I remember it being a day of so much fun..frosting, sprinkles everywhere.  Mom let us all help decorate the cookies.  She then packed them in a 10-gallon tin and set it in the corner of the un-insulated attic to keep them fresh.  Mom baked and made lots of sweet treats back in the 1950's.  I'm sure the ingredients were cheap and Mom's loving touch made every cookie special for the recipients.

I've enjoyed these cooky baking days with my own grandchildren.  Duane and Colin helped me on Sunday wrestle the sticky cookie dough into a ball and then into stars, trees, and bells.

Colin needed to use a lot of flour to keep the dough from sticking to the mat and some made it's way to his shirt!  We even tried to use a fancy tip to make designs on the cookies.

Sweet Success

 It was not all work - Colin challenged Anne and Duane to a doubles game of Ping Pong, with Grandma as his partner.  I haven't played Ping Pong for years and thoroughly enjoyed having Colin as my partner.  I think he and Duane play frequently and he has a good sense of the game and knows the rules….  I think we won!

We also attended a Pullman Civic Theatre play called the Best Christmas Pageant Ever.  Miss Heidi's son and daughter were in the play.  The story taught the audience the true meaning of Christmas and encouraged us to reach out to naughty welfare children and quit being so judgmental of others.   The actors and costumes were outstanding.  I loved it! 

Colin was eager to give me an early Christmas gift already under the tree.  Earlier in December he had the opportunity to do a little shopping on his own and he found this beautiful angel Christmas stocking for me.  I now have a fireplace and I have my own Christmas stocking.  I'm so grateful for the special love of a grandchild.  That's the only Christmas gift I need.