Happy Birthday John

Yesterday was John's 46th Birthday!  He spent all day driving back and forth from Ellensburg to watch Jacob participate in a school archery tournament.  He said his mom's card was right on following all that sitting yesterday.  The card that read on the outside, "remember what life was like before my back hurts, my shoulder aches, and my knees don't work right?"  Inside, "Life was just a pain in the ass."  This mother-in-law asserts that John sacrificed his birthday and his back to stand proud when his son hit the bull's eye! I've always enjoyed his adventure stories with Jacob.  Sometimes they take a big metal magnet and drive down to the river and pull up the most incredible treasures -- bicycles, guns, metal boxes, coins, fishing gear!  Jack, John's Dad, obviously enjoys the adventure stories and this year wanted to make sure John and Jake were prepared for the worst...  bear spray!

Look at this proud daughter who made this yummy two layer cake!!

And she made sure the candles were the tricky kind - he had to extinguish them with his fingers.

In 2009 we also enjoyed pizza, but John let Colin help him blow out the candles.

The best gift was a mother chicken that sang a cute song and then pooped out colored eggs!  Mamma Delores knows kids of every age need toys to make them smile on their birthday!

I'm proud of a son-in-law who makes a big deal about new socks!  He's such a good story teller and told about a time when the men he was with had their shoes off.  He noticed that everyone was wearing the same socks.  So, he asked his friends, "when was the last time you bought socks for yourself?  Probably never, because we are all wearing identical socks that our wives bought at Costco!" 

Happy Birthday to a great man I'm proud to call my Irish Son-in-Law!!

God's Guest List - Rita Studebaker

Yesterday was Rita's 101st Birthday.  I was honored to help Marcia prepare a birthday lunch celebration for Rita and 3 of her friends.  The party began by celebrating her picture in "Blast from the Past" in Friday's Lewiston Morning Tribune.  The caption alongside the picture read:
Sisters Rita and Ada Yost are all dressed up for their first communion in this photograph made in 1915. Their mother, Ellen, a professional seamstress, sewed their dresses. Considered twins by many but actually two years apart in age, the sisters took communion in St. Rita’s Catholic Church in Kellogg, Idaho. Rita is now Rita Studebaker and lives in Lewiston, where she and her family will celebrate her 101st birthday today.

Marcia told us that Rita's mom dressed them as twin until they were in high school.  Additionally, both girls were dedicated to the Blessed Virgin Mary and dressed only in blue and white for many years.  Ellen, the mom, really wanted them to be like twins so she held Ada back and enrolled Rita in school when she was only five years old and they remained in the same classroom throughout their school years in Kellogg.  Rita told the story of being in the eighth grade and said "one day the principal came into our classroom and picked several students out and we were sent to high school.  It didn't feel good for us because the other eighth graders were jealous of us and the ninth graders resented us being in high school." She tells great stories of her growing up years in Kellogg.

Ruth Aram, Rita, Mary Ellen Black and Jo Luper

I also enjoyed Ruth Aram's stories.  She told us that she and Rita decided during Lent years ago they would go out for lunch every Friday (Catholics don't eat meat on Friday during Lent) and have clam chowder at local restaurants.  During one of their lunches at Red Lobster, an acquaintance commented to them, "this clam chowder lunch doesn't appear to be much of a sacrifice for you ladies."  She talked about their experiences in Bible Study classes, volunteering at St. Joe's, and attending St. Mary's League meetings at St. Stan's.  Rita helped Pat Wittman take and record blood pressures every Thursday morning at St. Joes for years.  She eventually had to give up driving, but insisted on keeping her "job" so she rode Valley Transit to the hospital.  She lived all over the world and told me many stories of living in Afghanistan when her husband worked overseas.  She's been like a library to her family and friends. I'm always tickled when she says things like, "getting old isn't all it's cracked up to be."  Rita epitomizes the acceptance of life, with joy and a delightful sense of humor.

Rita delighted us with enough wind power to eventually blow out all three candles.  Rita's life can be compared to an expandable suitcase, enlarged by her experiences and relationships.  In the second century of her life she is just "here" and here holds more than enough.  The simplicity of her life holds its own kind of brightness and clarity.  Sometimes she doesn't remember things and she gets a little anxious at times, but her inner brightness shines through even these tough times. She's had to give up driving, leave her home, and accept the help of others to prepare her meals and ensure her safety. Her last years are characterized by what Richard Rohr calls a "kind of bright sadness and sober happiness." Rita is on my guest list because I met this shining lady and I know that "she is the goal of humanity and the delight of God."  (From Richard Rohr's Falling Upwards).

And oh, the cooks had their picture taken because we were all wearing green!

Palo Alto, Part I

I've never taken pictures from the airplane before, but couldn't resist on this trip to Palo Alto to meet my friend Kati.  I'm always grateful when I get a window seat on Southwest and this time I delighted in the views of Mt. Bachelor, Mt. Shasta, and the San Francisco Bay, especially the Golden Gate Bridge!

 I tried to imagine where our homes were in Lake Oswego, Oregon, and then Santa Rosa, California.  Both cities have grown since the 1970's when we lived there.  I think the new subdivisions have fewer trees and houses that are larger, but closer to the neighbors.


Anyway, Kati and I met each other at baggage claim and then managed to catch a shuttle bus that took us to the Santa Clara Cal Train Station.  Kalle and Christina literally live across the street from the Palo Alto Cal Train Station, so Kati and I hauled our suitcases just a few blocks to their lovely apartment on Alma Street, which is walking distance to many fine restaurants, coffee shops, and Chico's, all on University Avenue.  We arrived early afternoon and had time for a sandwich and shopping before Kalle and Christina got home from work.  We soon discovered that we could walk to Whole Foods and Trader Joe's!

Thursday we were on our own exploring Palo Alto in warm, sunny weather.  We walked to the Stanford Campus and visited the Iris and Gerald Cantor Center for Visual Arts, hosting Walker Evans vintage prints.  He's best know for his work at the Farm Services Administration documenting the effects of the Great Depression.  The faces haunted me as I walked through the exhibit wondering how these people even survived with little money, no work, and not much hope.

I also enjoyed the Stanford Family Room inside the Center, viewing pictures and stories of this famous family.  In1876, former California Governor Leland Stanford purchased 650 acres of Rancho San Francisquito for a country home and began the development of his famous Palo Alto Stock Farm. He later bought adjoining properties totaling more than 8,000 acres. The little town that was beginning to emerge near the land took the name Palo Alto (tall tree) after a giant California redwood on the bank of San Francisquito Creek. The tree itself is still there and would later become the university's symbol and centerpiece of its official seal.

The Stanford Family

Leland Stanford, who grew up and studied law in New York, moved West after the gold rush and, like many of his wealthy contemporaries, made his fortune in the railroads. He was a leader of the Republican Party, governor of California and later a U.S. senator. He and Jane had one son, who died of typhoid fever in 1884 when the family was traveling in Italy. Leland Jr. was just 15. Within weeks of his death, the Stanfords decided that, because they no longer could do anything for their own child, "the children of California shall be our children." They quickly set about to find a lasting way to memorialize their beloved son.The Stanfords considered several possibilities – a university, a technical school, a museum. While on the East Coast, they visited Harvard, MIT, Cornell and Johns Hopkins to seek advice on starting a new university in California.  Ultimately, they decided to establish two institutions in Leland Junior's name - the University and a museum. From the outset they made some untraditional choices: the university would be coeducational, in a time when most were all-male; non-denominational, when most were associated with a religious organization; and avowedly practical, producing "cultured and useful citizens."

On October 1, 1891, Stanford University opened its doors after six years of planning and building. The prediction of a New York newspaper that Stanford professors would "lecture in marble halls to empty benches" was quickly disproved. The first student body consisted of 555 men and women, and the original faculty of 15 was expanded to 49 for the second year. The university’s first president was David Starr Jordan, a graduate of Cornell, who left his post as president of Indiana University to join the adventure out West.

The Stanfords engaged Frederick Law Olmsted, the famed landscape architect who created New York’s Central Park, to design the physical plan for the university. The collaboration was contentious, but finally resulted in an organization of quadrangles on an east-west axis. Today, as Stanford continues to expand, the university’s architects attempt to respect those original university plans.

Kati and I learned a lot about the history of Palo as the week went by.  Kalle and Christina live across the street from the original Facebook home office on High Street.  They treated us to breakfast at Calafia, an organic restaurant owned by the Chef for Google.  Apparently Steve Jobs ate here frequently and Kalle noticed he always seemed to be engaged in intellectual conversations with his guests.  "They didn't just talk about the weather or the score of the football game."  We even drove by Steve Job's home on Waverly - just blocks from our walk on University Avenue.

Thursday afternoon we made our way to Lytton Gardens, a retirement community, where Kati's friend from Twin Falls, Katherine Scott, now lives.  Apparently Katherine's friends in Twin Falls were worried that she was unhappy after selling her home, downsizing to a studio apartment, and leaving long-time friends, to be near her daughter.  Kati and I agreed this 94 year young woman made an incredible adjustment!  When we first arrived she offered us a drink.  "I have lots of whiskey."  Her apartment might be small but it's filled with joy and a real zest for life.  The Gardens takes up an entire city block in Palo Alto, the web site indicates 580 residents live here.  Her neighbors are Chinese and "very nice, but quiet."  She keeps busy by checking out books from their library, having lunch with her daughter almost every day and preparing her own meals.  She tickled me with her stories and comments about her living situation.  "I don't want to go downstairs and sit there and talk, talk, all day.  I helped with the Halloween party.  I don't mind helping when there's something to do. That was fun!  But being with those women who just talk all day drives me batty."  Katherine's outlived two husbands.  "I don't think I ever want to get married again.  Who wants to wait on someone hand and foot?  If I found someone here I'd probably have to learn Chinese."  She did ask Kati if she planned to get married.  Kati explained that she might not get married even if she found the right man.  Katherine responded,  "I'm not going to get married again, why should you?"  "But I have a special friend right now and I'm a little confused about what I should do,"  Kati told this wise woman.  Her response, "don't worry about it, you have a heart big enough for all."  Ah, to be 94, witty, and so wise....  It's one of my dreams for my wisdom years.

I loved the flowers, especially since Lewiston has no color this time of year. 

On Friday we drove Christina's jeep to IKEA!  Anyone who's been there knows it takes awhile to get through the showroom and then find the treasures on the floor.  We had lunch and each bought a few kitchen gadgets.  I found a tray that must be a treasure because it wouldn't fit in my suitcase and I had to carry it on the plane.

God's Guest List

My sister, Marilyn, insisted that I read Debbie Macomber’s book, God’s Guest List.  Debbie’s one of our favorite authors because she often writes about her passion for knitting and how it brings women together.  In this book Debbie writes about an author, Richard LeMiuex, who is on her guest list.  

Richard was a successful businessman whose business failed and as a result he lost everything including his family. While he endured the agony of being homeless he typed on an old Underwood typewriter everyday in parks and libraries about the people he met who touched his life.  I’m currently reading his book, “Breakfast at Sally’s.”  I, too, am touched by his story and the way he captures the kindness of homeless people and the few who reach out to them, especially the Major and cooks at the Salvation Army where Richard has breakfast with 80 other homeless people every day.  

Debbie encourages her readers to develop their own guest list.  She says, “The gift of seeing God at work through life’s guests gives us new eyes to see and appreciate God like never before.”  This is my first entry into my guest list.

I worked in Brad Melton’s Edward Jones office yesterday while he and Debbie attended a Forum in St. Louis.  Late in the afternoon a gentleman strolled into the office, the first customer of the day.  He said, “Debbie told me to come and see you.”   So I introduced myself and he did the same.  With a warm handshake he said, “I’m Larry Pulley.”  Even though I’d never met him, I knew about him.  Emilie, his dear wife, currently lives at Guardian Angel Homes because of her Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s Dementia. I’ve known Emilie for 20 years.  She worked at the Director of Nursing at the Idaho County Nursing Home in Grangeville when I worked at the facility up on the hill.  I was delighted to find out in 1999 that she now worked at Royal Plaza, a skilled nursing facility down the street from Juniper Meadows.  My question of “how is she?” led to an emotional discussion of her disease and how it’s robbed her of most physical functions.  But, he said, “she’s in her body…she can still laugh and shake a finger at the staff.” We talked about Emilie’s dedication to the elderly and how she perfected her role as evidenced by good surveys and staff longevity.  Now she’s on the receiving end of a service that she provided to hundreds of others in her career.  I recalled seeing Emilie walking on the levee about the same time I walked with my friends.  “She loved to walk, but towards the end, she kept falling down and sometimes I needed help to get her up.”  I can still see her sitting in a pew at St. Stan’s.  I gently inquired once about why she never went to communion and she told me she had a “marriage issue.”  I felt sad and angry that this loving woman could not receive the Eucharist because the church did not recognize her marriage.  Now this strong “marriage issue” stood in front of me sharing the story of losing Emilie while visiting the Statue of Liberty.  “It was then that I knew she had Alzheimer’s.  We never did get to take our dream trip to Italy that we’d planned to do after she retired.  It was one thing to lose her in this country, I was too afraid she might get lost in a foreign country.”    When I asked how he was doing he replied, “well today I was her manicurist…I cut her nails because she’s a diabetic and the nurse is the only staff member that can do it and she’s much too busy.”  He also brings her chocolate and why not?  He did mention that it hurts him sometimes that Emilie’s friends don’t visit her.  I wonder now if I’ll be able to go see her, preferring instead to remember her as a vibrant leader and lover of the elderly.  Larry said, “she won’t know you, but she’ll look you in the eye and you can hold her hand.”   I told him I was grateful for his visit and complimented him on his dedication to his wife and he gave me a big hug before he left the office.  He’s on my guest list because he honors his marriage vows, “for better or worse, in sickness and in health.”  And because he’s still in love, still smiles, and treasures tender moments with Emilie.   His visit made me appreciate my health and the opportunities I had in my career to notice the loving dedication of spouses who visit their loved ones every day in nursing homes.  It’s there that kindness and unconditional love happens.  It’s there that I was able to appreciate God like never before. 

Late-coming Retirement Wishes

When I visited my sister, Marilyn, on February 10th she pulled all these envelopes out of a drawer!  Then she presented me with a three-ring binder and 200 sheet protectors and told me she never got around to putting my memory book together.  Apparently she contacted family and friends and asked them to send her a special memory or some congratulatory wishes for my retirement.  Who has 200 family and friends?  Maybe some people on Facebook, but not me!!  The pile has been sitting on my dining room table because I knew reading all those wonderful cards and letters would bring tears to my eyes so I've been avoiding opening and reading all of them.  My afternoon training plans were cancelled today so I thought it might be a good idea to get the pile off the floor before I leave for San Francisco tomorrow.  I'm embarrassed that all these written memories and sincere wishes were never acknowledged before today.  

I appreciate all the kind words, especially if someone mentioned that I somehow impacted their life or helped them grow in their faith.  I'm humbled by all the nice things people said!   Most words made me cry, but a few made me laugh.  Marcia wrote:  "Theresaisms"   --"who will take care of the flowers?" and "I don't want a retirement party."  Grace said, "LIve it up."  Jean wrote, "I love your memorial garden you planted in front of your yard to honor your parents.  The beauty reminds us of how good God is to give us loving parents."  Her daughters Amy and Jen said, "it's difficult for me to think of a time when you weren't part of our lives."  Karen and Joan Hogan encouraged me not to worry because God has special plans for me.  Wendy wrote, "you have been in the business of hope and love for so long."  Larry wrote, "your wisdom gained over these years will not be retired, will not be wasted, but redirected."  Regina wrote about how we solved problems, made plans and dreamed dreams while walking together for 12 years.  Kati thanked me for making a tape of music without words when she was struggling with her divorce.  Julia thanked me for a little journal I'd given her when she was confirmed.  Marilyn's prayer shawl ministry group encouraged me to save time for a trip to the lake and not get too busy, but to continue making the world a better place.  Larissa wrote, "I'm happy for her well-deserved retirement, but it will be an adjustment to her not being here every day."  Other words are too tender or personal to mention, but every one is a blessing and I'm so grateful for the gift of these words.

One more I want to share with you from Mildred Scott, a resident at Juniper Meadows.  She wrote, "When I moved to Juniper Meadows I had a sneaking suspicion that I had crossed paths with Theresa before.  I asked her if her birthday was October 24 and she said it was the 26th.  This helped me put together that I had shared a hospital room at the Cottonwood hospital with Theresa's mother.  I had given birth to my son, Bryce, and then we had to move rooms.  This is where Theresa and Bryce became cribmates."  

It's been pure joy to be your mate - whether it be in family, at work, in Cursillo, or in figuring out how to be single again....

San Diego Vacation, Part II

The Welk resort is about six miles from Escondido.  Someone told us Lawrence Welk bought the property in 1964.   Now there are several time share units that are rented or in various stages of being upgraded or remodeled.  Yvonne and I were very comfortable in our unit, often enjoying the morning sun on our necks as we drank coffee and said our morning prayers.    We did agree to take a tour of the new units and for our time we got free tickets to the theatre.  One night we enjoyed watching four men emulating the Beatles and their music, especially John Lennon's "Imagine."  We commented on the clothes and hair that seemed outrageous to our parents in the '60's.

I really enjoyed Rich Little's presentation of the Life of Jimmy Stewart.  As part of the presentation, various actors came into Jimmy's life and Rich impersonated them too - Henry Fonda, Cary Grant, Ronald Reagan, even Katherine Hepburn.  Rich delighted in the age of the audience because all of us knew the people he was trying so hard to be!

At the end of his presentation Rich climbed the stairs, turned around and pretended that he was in heaven, meeting his maker.  I loved what he said,  "Lord, you gave me incredible talent and I hope I've used that talent well.  It's been a Wonderful Life." (Jimmy Stewart is the star of that great film, "It's a Wonderful Life.) I wonder if  I might not say the same thing.

Yvonne inspired me by her desire to stay connected to co-workers, family, and college friends.  I especially enjoyed meeting Rick's Aunt, Doris Gold.  I don't know how old she is, but she's young at heart - an honored Cachetmaker.  Her walls are covered with awards of this artistic craft.  Here's the Wikipedia definition:

In philately, a cachet is a printed or stamped design or inscription, other than a cancellation or pre-printed postage, on an envelope, postcard, or postal card to commemorate a postal or philatelic event. There are official and private (independent of postal authorities) cachets.^[1] They commemorate everything from the first flight on a particular route, to the Super Bowl. Cachets are also frequently made, either by private companies or a government, for first day of issue stamp events or "second-day" stamp events. They are often present on event covers.

The first cacheted FDC (first day cover) was produced by prominent philatelist and cachet maker George Ward Linn in 1923, for the Harding Memorial stamp issue.

I gratefully accepted a FCD commemorating Mother Teresa on 9/5/2010.  She also gave me one honoring the 100th anniversary of the Boy Scouts on 7/27/2010.  Doris's work is outstanding - hours and hours of detailed drawings.  She even makes her own envelopes because it's so challenging to get the designs printed on mass-produced envelopes.  I will treasure the gifts as well as the visit for years to come.  

Doris and Morris live in a spacious apartment in La Mesa.  They were high school classmates and became re-acquainted at a class reunion after Doris's husband died. Morris attends Jewish Synagogue daily. I was privileged to hear him read from a sacred book in Hebrew.

Doris and Morris inspired me with their passions.  Yvonne and I decided that we both need a hobby or retirement job that communicates some passion we have to everyone we meet. Would that a visit to our homes in twenty years might inspire someone!!!!

Yvonne and I enjoyed several walks around the Welk Resort, and the Cedros Design District in Salano Beach with her college friend from Gonzaga University, Cheryl. I would highly recommend a vegetarian lunch at an outdoor cafe called Zinc.  Wonderful marinated asparagus salad!

We didn't do any real hiking, but Allan did drive me over to Modjeska Canyon and Tucker Wildlife Sanctuary.  We took a short hike up the hill to get a better view of the area where Brian built a footbridge for his Eagle Scout Project.  The trip created many memories for me and gave me connections to new friends.  It will be another treasure in "my wonderful life." Thank you Yvonne!

San Diego Vacation, Part I

  

My sister's friend, Yvonne Shulman, invited me to share her time share at the Welk Resort near Escondido, California. It didn't take me long to say yes to the invitation, after all I'm a retired "goldfish," and always happy when someone else does the travel planning.

Allan picked me up Saturday morning and gave me the royal tour of the Robert Schuller's Crystal Cathedral near Garden Grove, California.  The Catholic Diocese of Orange County recently purchased the 31 acre site for $57.5 million.  The challenge now will be to change the theater-style church into a liturgical appropriate building where priests can celebrate Mass.

The church can seat 2800 people.  It's a sweet deal because the diocese, 10th largest in the US, faced construction costs over $200 million on property half the size of the Garden Grove property.  The Schuller empire filed for bankruptcy and apparently Robert is happy the cathedral will be used by another church rather than just another building on the Chapman College campus.

Next, we drove to Newport Beach and enjoyed a sandwich at Ruby's on the Pier where people were fishing for mackerel and otherwise just enjoying the warm day. 

We walked around Newport Beach, purchased salt water taffy, then took a ferry to Balboa Island.  Allan is such a great storyteller and gave me the history of Lisa's college days renting beach houses! 

Later, we  drove by the Newport Country Club where  Allan and Lisa had their wedding reception  27 years ago.     Then Allan picked up Peggy's  (his mother in law) mail and we picked these wonderful, sweet oranges from a tree in her backyard.

Sunday we enjoyed a great breakfast after attending mass at Holy Trinity Catholic Church in Ladera Ranch.  It's a new parish and they have mass in temporary structures and coffee and donuts in an outdoor courtyard.  Lisa said the parish began, humbly, with Mass in the Grass.  It's just my opinion, but I believe God is edified by his people celebrating in a park, in a school, or a portable building.  We might need the crystal and glass, but He surely is content with all aspects of His creation.